When I Knew

“Little Drummer Boy" by the Harry Simeone Chorale, “A Cradle in Bethlehem” by Nat King Cole and The Mormon Tabernacle Choir’s “Hallelujah” are my three favorite Christmas tunes, but the one that I am forever grateful for is “Jingle Bells.” Because of that song, I knew that something was seriously wrong with my husband, Martin.

It was November 2014 and we were part of a group singing Christmas carols at a tree lighting in the neighboring town. Martin stood next to me singing. His tenory-bassy voice was beautiful as always but the lyrics…he was struggling with the lyrics. I remember thinking this is frigging "Jingle Bells." Everyone knows "Jingle Bells." Yet, he did not know the words.

Later that evening during a reception, I was chatting with his physician. This is small-town America where you run into your doctor, your plumber, your first grade teacher, your kid’s school principal and the head of the hospital while standing in the 10 items or less line.

Martin knew his doc well since he had chronic high everything, but when he walked over and joined us it was clear that he needed an introduction.

When we got home I Googled "dementia Alzheimer’s" and within minutes I had my answer. The following week his physician confirmed my diagnosis.

I look at this photo taken by my friend and professional photographer Lisa DuFault, who chronicles life in our Valley, and I am grateful. Before the night was over my smile would be gone, not to return with any regularity for several years. In less than three years my husband would be going, going and finally gone.

The gratitude, however, would never leave me.

Gratitude for loving family and friends.

Gratitude for a caring community.

Gratitude that my Mother, who passed away nine years ago this morning, got to know her son-in-law before Alzheimer’s entered the picture.

Gratitude that I married a man who said, “Sure, your 100-year-old mother can move in with us” and treated her like his own Momma.

Gratitude for a God who really “will not fail nor forsake you,” to quote my Mom quoting Deuteronomy 31:6, among her favorites.

Would that be the sound of my mother rolling over in her grave at the sound of her baby quoting the Bible? I do believe.