TBT: Fork Me!

Before there was Dementia Dame, the website, there was Dementia Dame, the Facebook page. Today, we throw it back to a FB post from the past.

I went  fork shopping because over the years my forks had disappeared. Can't stress this enough to caregivers: a lot of your stuff is gonna go buh bye.

Photos of dinner forks online looked more like serving forks, so I went to an actual store to check them out in person. The sales clerk proudly showed me the shiny silver selection he had in stock. The dinner forks took my breath away.

“They’re massive!” I exclaimed. “How long are they?”

Eight inches, he said. I was tempted to be totally childish and say something about men and size and always lying. Instead, I kept a straight, adult face. I picked up a fork. Without exaggeration, it weighed a ton and a half.

At least.

“It has quite a bit of heft to it,” I said.

"That is quality silver," he offered. "Plus, nowadays they are bigger so you can get more food on it. This way you can have time to enjoy your meal."

All this veteran of every diet ever invented could muster was, "Huh."

I pulled out my ancient Oneida dinner fork, purchased right after I had moved into my first apartment back in the late 1970s. I placed them side by side then held one in each hand. I swear the tines on his fork alone took up one-third of my dinner fork. Even his dessert fork--or was it the salad fork?--was a tad longer than my dinner fork. I thanked him for his help and my FitBit and I boogied.

It took a few more steps, but I finally came upon some adorable undersized forks at another store. They were described as being perfect for the "discriminating camper." Sold! Just 99 cents each and they have yet to turn green or cause my teeth to fall out.

When did forks get so big and heavy anyway? I suspect that occurred just before we as a nation got so big and heavy. 

Caregivers have a tendency to overgraze as it is. Good health is not our best friend or even a passing acquaintance when we're deep into caregiving because we're so busy worrying about everything and anything.

And now we have to worry about forks plotting against us? Are you forking kidding me?

Today's two cents: beware of forklifts in forks' clothing.