Chips Gonna Happen

(This article first appeared on The Dementia Dame Facebook page on Aug. 30, 2016. Note to self: ease up on yourself.)

Dear Dementia Dame,

Dang, gurl, what have you been eating?

Clearly everything and lots of it! You haven’t been in the 230s in a while, but there you are: 235 pounds of back-breaking, knee-aching weight.

It’s so easy to blame the excess weight on caregiving. Your loved one falls and you grab a bag of potato chips. Your loved one emotionally wears you down at bedtime or showertime and a bucket of fried chicken looks awfully good. Your loved one calls 911 because Martians have invaded your home and man, chocolate, pizza and ice cream just call your name.

Yes, it would be easy to blame caregiving on emotional- or stress-eating and it is to some degree at fault, but let’s be real: food was your comfort before dementia entered your life. You were working on it and then dementia showed up and it was like, woo-hoo!

Study after study shows that family caregivers’ health suffers something ferocious as a result of caregiving. Obesity and hypertension are biggies and not just among caregivers in the dementia trenches, but for all caregivers.

We gorge, we graze and we get little in the area of exercise because, well, we’re busy and frankly, there is a reluctance to pay a caregiver $40-$50 just so you can get to the gym or go out for a hike. And so we caregive and eat and sit, waiting for the next dementia-related event to happen. And when it does we eat and sit once more.

So now you’re at 235 pounds and because the one thing you are good about is your annual physical, you are freshly armed with the knowledge that certain numbers are perilously close to causing much bigger problems. Two hundred and thirty five is the least of your worrisome numbers and so finally, you are seriously taking care of yourself.

Again.

You are walking more and the chips are gone and you are ignoring the people who say, “Oh, you look fine.’’

This isn’t about self-image. You’re good with that. This is about self-preservation. This is about knees that are looking upward and saying, “How long do you think we can carry this?” and hips that are asking, "Really?" This is about a family history—on both sides--that you know can take you out in a New York minute. This is about taking one day at a time and one step at a time and finally taking care of yourself.

You’ve been down this road many times before, but this time you HAVE to do it if living a healthy life is in your plan. People who are family caregivers are amazing people. They can lift falling fathers in a single bound. They can get dressed and be in the car before the ambulance even pulls out of the driveway en route to the ER. They can focus on many things at once. They are that good. You know the extent of your remarkableness, so use it for you! Add your health into the mix. Good luck, gurl. Love you!

The Dementia Dame